The BIG FAT Cheese Speaks!

OK. Here is the deal. I love food. Food loves me. Together we have a great relationship. It doesn't matter what kind of mood I am in, I love to eat. I eat for pleasure, I eat just to eat, and then I just eat simply because I can. It's a pretty simple equation. My biggest problem is my appetite. I simply have a hard time getting full. A couple of weeks ago I went to a Aaronic Priesthood open house at the Alpine Tabernacle. After words my counselors and I decided to go to In-and Out for some chow. I ate two Double Doubles, fries, and of course a lemonade or three. When I was done, I literally felt like I was just starting to warm up! Without exaggerating, I could have very easily ate two more with out even breaking a sweat. Really, I could have. In fact when I got home I had Rachel make me her famous "RFP" and had some snacks while I was waiting for her to finish! No I do not have a eating disorder. For me, it's mind over matter. Period. If I want it badly enough, anything is possible. I'm not going to see some quack diet doctor. I thought about getting my stomach stapled but it would take railroad ties not staples so that's out of the question.

I am 6 ft and weigh 253 pounds. My goal was to lose 40 pounds by June 16th. I was going to start March 1st. I have had two major set backs due to things beyond my control- a surgery and then some torn ligaments. It is now April 26th. There is no way I can lose 40 pounds by June 16th. I think I can lose 25. I know what y'all are thinking right now. You're thinking that I will just gain it all back. My answer to that is so what! I don't care. I just want to see if I can do it!

Now, everybody that knows me knows I can get pretty extreme at times. Well I am about to push the envelope. In order to jump start my famous "life-style lose all you can and then gain it all back change" I am going to attempt a 5-day cleansing program that is guaranteed to shrink my black hole of a stomach. That is right. No food for 5 days. Just tons of water and a total of 59 pills a day. I can't really exercise a whole lot because of my foot, but I'm going to try and walk at least 2 miles a day if I can.

I am a private person. Jamie knows that and that is why most of her blogs are just about her and the kids. She has been asked to leave me out of it for the most part. I am also a very prideful person. For this reason I chose to write this post. Now that everybody knows, my pride is on the line!

So this is my first official log entry:

Captain's log, star date 4/26/2010. Day 1. Official weight: 253 pounds. After announcing to the whole world of my totally insane plan, I have found myself at a crossroad. I now have no choice but to follow through. For breakfast I swallowed 17 pills, all at once. They tasted nasty. I am now burping. Each time I burp that nasty herbal pill taste comes into my mouth. A large pepperoni pizza sure sounds good about now. I would much rather be burping up tasty pepperoni than this wheat germ herbal stuff. If I only had a food replicator.