Yes! That's how I feel!!! Overwhelmed! Flooded! Inundated with complaints!!!!
I don't know what's going on over here but it's cool to be under the weather... apparently.....
You may recall in my 2nd to the last post...Last week Rachel had a stomach bug Monday and Tuesday. Mark came down with a fever and chills and aching joints Wednesday-Thursday. Those were real but the rest I believe are of the imagined variety.
It's mainly my #3  vying for "sickest child" of the day. WHAT? Am I not attentive enough? Do we need to play more Uno Attack or Phase 10?
In the past week we've had these complaints:
6:30am Tuesday Morning:
SAMANTHA: I'm so tired. I don't feel good.
MOM:Do you think you can go to school?
SAMANTHA: Noooo...
MOM: Okay, go back to sleep.
9am Jacob leaves for school.
9:15 School starts and Samantha appears in the kitchen announcing she is ready to go to school now. I will have to drive her because the crossing guard will be gone by the time she gets there. Mom unhappy. She couldn't have figured out she was fine just 10 minutes earlier and saved me a trip.
6:30am Wednesday morning
JACOB I'm so sick. I don't think I can go to school. Ohhhh.... I'm just so tired.
MOM: I bought it. He seemed awfully tired. He's never tired. I said okay, go back to sleep. I shut off the light. I shut the door. 20 min. later he's asking me in a very groany, tired voice...
JACOB: Can I watch August Rush because the music really helps me fall asleep and I think I need to get to sleep.
MOM: (very unsympathetically) Here's the soundtrack. That should do the trick!
9am; Samantha leaves for school. At 9:03 Jacob appears in the kitchen announcing he's pretty sure he can go to school. Of course he has an "all about me" poster due that day which he worked on with his dad the night before (Because I was feeling sick, REALLY, and retired to my bed about 8:30pm) but we were supposed to finish that morning. Mark and he had printed some photos off the computer and they had cropped them and glued them on. Jacob had written captions for them so I got out my sticker book and we embellished by finding stickers that showed foods he liked and foods he didn't like encapsulated in a circle with a slash over them and a caption of "Ugg! Never!" and stickers that showed activities he enjoyed: roasting marshmallows over a fire, a Cd player and music notes, a bicycle, etc.
9:20 I kick him out the door 5 minutes late for school toting his poster. He's capable of crossing the street on his own at the crosswalk.
Wednesday after school:
SAMANTHA: My toes really hurt when I walk. Can we wrap them with an ace bandage.
MOM: sure, let's wrap it. (Easier to wrap than argue)
The wrap is off an hour later and she is cured..... Until later when they hurt again and require additional wrapping. This toe infirmity reappears several times over the course of the next few days and by saturday has affected her heel but the toes are better. Wrapping always does the trick.
Wednesday 7:pm:
Mason has a sore wrist that requires wrapping as well. We have Tragically weak joints at this house. They need support.
Thursday morning:
SAMANTHA: My armpit hurts.
MOM: I can't even pretend to buy this one... Really? the armpit? Give me something I can work with? something I can wrap with an ace bandage....
Thursday 11:30am:
phone call from school:
JACOB: very weak, pitiful voice. (He's really good at sick voices. He's pretty much got the sick voice mastered. He's suckered this cynical, suspicious mother more than once with a good sick voice. )
Uuumm. Mom? I'm in the office. Could you come get me. I don't feel good at all. My heart is beating really fast and feels like it's jumping out of my chest and I feel sick and I need to come home.
I'm supposed to be at work at the school at 12:30. I go pick him up. I give him an Advil for his headache. I give him a Rolaid in case this heart condition is related to heartburn. I am highly suspicious however as it sounds remarkably like a condition Carly actually has called Supraventricular tachycardia; where her heart really does beat very very fast and makes her weak and dizzy. hmmmm.
I ask him if he's hungry. Hah! when is he not hungry???? give him some lunch. Have him rest on the couch and announce at 12:20 that we're going back to school. He's fine with that and has improved very much although he gives me a nice wan face to show me he's not quite perfect yet. He's doing this for me.
Thursday Night:
midnight: Mark is puking. He felt fine all day but went to bed a little early for a Friday night with an uneasy stomach. I had stayed up to get some projects done while watching "Little Women". The old version with a very young Elizabeth Taylor playing Amy. I loved it. (Have I mentioned how much I am enjoying the Tuner Classic Movie channel?)
After getting Mark a bowl in case there was a reoccurrence and some pepto bismal I turned in for the night. I have to add here that Mark did NOT leave a mess for me to clean up. I must say that I appreciate that about him. I go to bed soon after. It's about 12:30. About 1am I hear a child wailing. I hit the ground running afraid I have another puker in the house. No. It's Mason with an earache, headache and sore throat. We go downstairs and get my miracle eardrops and some children's Ibuprofen. He won't take the ibuprofen (liquid) After begging and cajoling I have to bluff him with the old "well, If you won't let me help you then I'll just have to go to bed. You come get me when you want me to help you feel better." He relented and drank his medicine. We put the drops in his ear, set him up on the couch with pillow and blanket and hot packs for his cold toes and put on Kung Fu Panda (Thank you Auntie Christy) I reclined in Mark's recliner so I could hold his hand and try to rest. Halfway through the movie I went to the long couch and dozed. He woke me up when the movie was over and we were both ready to go to our real beds. It was now 3am.
Friday: Mark and Mason stay home and convalesce together.
Friday: I try not to fall asleep while at work. I think during a long blink I missed a whole page my 3rd grader was reading.
Saturday: All seems well. The littler ones are in bed asleep. Mark is asleep. I'm waiting for my two big girls who are out babysititng and I've finally found a few minutes to post after getting our computer back. Nothing is wrapped with an Ace bandage and I don't think I've heard a health complaint all day. It's a Miracle!!!!
8 comments:
My arm hurts, oh wait I think it's my head...wait, it's really my leg. HELP! Ha Ha! I hope your Sunday is alot better. You need a long winters nap after that week.
Glad you're back! The recipe I was going to try was that chicken one you forwarded me from Macey's - I haven't got around to it yet.
I made that recipe emily. I thought it would be good tossed with broccoli and pasta. I thankfully did not combine them all together. The chicken tasted great. IT's a good marinade but the sauce was awfully strong. I even diluted it more with extra cream and chicken broth. We tossed our pasta with butter and parmesan cheese and threw the chicken and broccoli in. I set the sauce on the side for anyone who wished to try it. A very little went a long way!
I think that you were really irresponsible overlooking the sore armpit symptom. Isn't that the first warning sign for Hypochondria?
I think you're right Maury. That was quite unsympathetic of me. Hypochondria is VERY serious.
I have to say "wow." Or maybe "Holy Cow!" You've had quite the week my friend! It was good to see you today. I hope this week is healthy and happy.
Jamie, all these "illnesses" are so much better than burned feet, pneumonia, 2 broken elbows, collapsed lungs or racing hearts. Count your blessings, this could be SOOOOOO much worse. I think I have to go home as my armpit hurts.
yes Christy. It could definitely be worse. In Church yesterday we talked about the sin of ingratitude so every time they come at me with a fake sore armpit I'll remember to be grateful they are really healthy and just faking sick. ;)
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