Living the HIGH life

Today Mason was scheduled to have several cavities repaired.  When we went to the dentist last week we discovered he had 6!!!!!! We have a fabulous pediatric dentist named Dr. Lund.  He does not rush to fill cavities.  Most of the time with my kids he will show me where one is starting and encourage more active brushing and flossing and prescribe "Prevident" which is a high flouride toothpaste and can actually reverse those small cavities. It has always worked with my kids.  Well, Mason's were so advanced and his teeth so young that his advice was to drill and fill them.  

Even now, a week later, when I talk or type about it, I do the "guilty mom cringe". You know... It involves hunching the shoulders, lowering chin into left shoulder, teeth clenched, eyebrows furrowed in a convincing wince .  Body Language that screams "I KNOW that I could have done better here".  It's that whole tired mom with the youngest child deal.  You know with Carly, Rachel for sure and probably even Jacob I was right there brushing them myself til they were kindergarteners and then checking their toothbrush every night. With Samantha I relaxed some and with Mason I relaxed more.  Now it's "go brush your teeth Mason".  I usually ask later "did you brush?" and lately I've been checking his toothbrush more or asking the other kids if they saw him do it because I started to get suspicious he wasn't doing it. There's my silver lining! The 6 cavities prove my mom instinct was correct.  It's tired & sluggish, but it's still working.  

The dentist asked me how we should proceed on filling Mason's cavities.  Would he be able to handle the shots outright or did I think we should go with the sedation route.  I went right for sedation.  Samantha and Rachel are able to be pretty objective about anticipating pain and uncomfortable things.  They can be reasoned with but Carly, Jacob and Mason go into serious FREAK OUT mode.   They can't be reasoned,  bribed, cajoled, praised, hugged or threatened into anything when they are anticipating something fearful.  Dr. Lund asked me if Mason fought against going to sleep when he's tired or if he'll just go to sleep.  My answer: He just goes to sleep.  

And he does.  At home.  Apparently not so much at the Dentist's office.  

I was given 4 prescriptions to fill for 4 different liquid medicines. I think my Dad will be interested to know what they were with his medical training so this is for you Dad! Atarax 10 mg to be given at bedtime w/no food or water after dose.  He is to go to 7am appt w/o eating or drinking.  800 mg chloral hydrate, 25 mg Atarax & 20 mg Demerol to be combined and given at dentist's office.  It cost about $25 for all that.  

He took his night time dose pretty well.  When we got to the Dentist's office he had to be bribed with a promised visit to McDonald's for a happy meal "if he was good" to take the larger dose but he did it without too much trouble.  Now for the fun part-  Mason on drugs!  We went back out to the waiting room to wait for it to take effect.  We watched some of the movie they were showing and he was getting really sleepy.  Then all of a sudden he wants to go play the free video games in the next room.  He gets up from my lap and starts across the room. He leans to the right, whoa... he leans to the left... whoa... I grabbed him before he fell and pulled him back to the couch with me.  He kept fighting to get off my lap.  He just HAD to go play those games.  I walked with him, supporting him under the arms, helping him walk straight.  I held him up on the stools as he played video bowling and Ms. Pacman.  He was talking a mile a minute and wobbling all over the stool.  

It brought back memories of Mason on Morphine after he burned the bottom of his foot severely on hot coals last summer.  That time after the drugs took the pain away he was talking incessantly and he'd look at me, pull back his head and refocus his eyes and announce "I have two mommies" then look at Mark, make the same attempt to refocus "I have two daddies"!!!!!!

He was pretty funny.  

Mark had a break in his work schedule and stopped by the Dentist's office about that time. Mason had tired of the video games and we were back cuddling on the couch with his Curious George Blanket watching Tarzan.  Mason was so excited to see Mark and started waving his arms and saying "daddy come and sit with us okay"  His speech was slurred and he was weaving about like the bobblehead toy that came in his happy meal! 

As soon as Mark got to us Mason had to get up and go to a new place.  He just couldn't settle down or stick with one activity.  He wanted to move to a different couch and lay down then he wanted to look at the fish and then he wanted to play Legos.  I laughed so much I started to cry. I had a sneaking suspicion that my laughter was egging him on more but I couldn't help it. He was so sideways and slurred and silly. 

I imagine I have a good idea now of how I was acting one night many many moons ago when I had too large a dose of Codeine after getting a tooth pulled and my sister Christy was exasperated with me.  I can remember being aware of how I was acting to some degree but it was so detached.  I was out with my friend David earlier in the evening and I remember laughing a lot and feeling really uninhibited.  Don't worry He was practically my brother and I don't mean THAT kind of uninhibited.  Just... really un-self-conscience, free to say anything, hang out the car window & yell things, etc.  Pretty much just like all my high school friends on Friday nights after about 11pm when they got drunk and I had to drive them home.  I was a handy sober friend, their favorite designated driver. 

After I got home I remember sitting on the floor in the family room laughing hysterically at everything and my sister Christy calling me a happy drunk and telling me it was time for me to go to bed.  She walked me down the hall to her room.  I suppose trying to get me up the stairs seemed like way too much to handle.  I remember laying in her room thinking my eyes were wide open staring out her window when these little vicious gremlin like creatures started climbing up my legs.  I tried to scream but my jaw was clamped shut and I couldn't open it to scream.  I tried kicking them off but they kept climbing.  A  sound like a train whistle kept ringing inside my head whenever I tried to scream.  All of the sudden the light flashed on and Christy was there shaking me awake.  I realized my eyes were shut tight and I was facing away from the window I thought I'd been looking out of.  It was really trippy.  It had seemed so real.  I can remember her helping me walk up the stairs to my Mom's room but that is all I remember. My mom tells me that I curled up in fetal position and rocked and sobbed for hours afterwards.  I have never taken Codeine since. I list it as an allergy on all medical forms.  That is not a trip I wish to take ever again.

Back to Mason:

Pretty soon it was time to go back to the treatment room.  The assistant wanted him to lie down so she could put a little mask on him to give him some of their knock out gas but he refused to lay down.  He clamped his hands on the armrest and refused to lie back.  He couldn't be reasoned with,  bribed, cajoled, praised, hugged or threatened  to lie back.  The Dentist came in and said to just back off a little and see if he'd fall asleep as he was practically nodding off.  So I moved back away from him.  Mark sat next to him to keep him from falling off the chair when he nodded and weaved to the side but still refused to lie down.  Why is it so hard for me to keep quiet and not try to fix/solve the problem.  It really was eXXXtremely difficult to sit there and not DO anything to try to get him to do what he was supposed to do.  *control issues* 

The backing off didn't do a lot of good either.  Finally it was time to get serious, no more waiting for him to do what he needed to do.  The dentist asked us to leave and g0 into the hall while they got out their "indian blanket" it was like a papoose board that they slid under him and then strapped him inside to immobilize him.  We were able to see from the hall so it wasn't like they were trying to keep us from seeing what they were doing rather just taking us out of the power  play for Mason.  Dr. Lund was amazing. He is so soft-spoken and was firm and consistent with Mason.  I wonder if he can keep it together like that with his own kids because if he can He's got to be an amazing Dad. 

Mason finally calmed down and half the cavities were filled.  We will have to do this again in 2 weeks for the rest because they are limited in how much local anesthetic they can give small children.  

Dr. Lund asked us to please accentuate the positive and not say much about his negative behavior and said that it had gone really well even though we probably didn't feel like it.  

I didn't feel like it.  Situations like that bring out all my insecurities as a parent.  I wish I could stop those feelings from raising their ugly heads.  When I offered him a happy meal for complying did they think I shouldn't be bribing him? When I threatened to take it away did they think I was mean?  WHY DO I CARE??????? I really need to get over that.  It's a fine line. My choices as a parent really do help shape my children but they definitely have their own unique personalities that are as much a part of them as my training.  I can't take responsibility for all of their successes or their failures.  I am trying to remember that.  It's hard. 

We were home by 9:45 and Mason fell asleep on the way home.  I got him upstairs to bed and he slept it off for a couple of hours and then we went to McDonalds for a happy meal and he was so sweet and grateful.  He shared his french fries with Mark and I and was so sweet to us all day.  When I told him we'd be doing this in 2 weeks again he asked if he could have a happy meal again after and I said yes and he said "Okay!" He did tell me he wouldn't lay down because he was afraid they were going to give him a shot.  He doesn't seem to remember that they actually did give him a shot so hopefully it will go smoother next time.