Things; They are a changin'

The Bocanegra first day of school pictures 2009 do not exist.

This is shocking news. I know. I am shocked as well.

You might be asking yourself... "They do not exist? How is that possible?"

So, I will tell you. I have a job. 9am to 2pm at my kids elementary school. (More about my new job later.) I have never had to get ready to go to work on the first day of school before. I've also never had kids at 4 schools before. We're going in many directions these days. It's a little disconcerting.

Carly leaves first for her bus stop for High School. Riding the bus is new for us. High school is new for us. AHHHH!!!!

Rachel leaves next about 45 minutes later for Jr. high, until her yearbook class starts that is, then she'll only leave about 15 minutes after Carly.

Jacob's carpool comes about an hour later which is also the same time Mason, Samantha and I leave for our school.

Jacob tested for and was accepted into the A.L.L. program (Accelerated Learning Lab) this year so he attends a different elementary school about 15 minutes away. Thank goodness I found another mom to carpool with so I don't have to make the 30 min. round trip 2x a day. I pick up after school and she drives each morning. It's a blessing.

On that very hectic first day of school, when Carly left I was in my nightgown trying to make lunches. When Rachel left I was in the shower and she yelled "I'm going now~ I love you" through the door. I underestimated how much time it would take me to get everyone else and myself ready so we were RUNNING out of the house a titch late without a thought to first day of school pictures, or the fact that I also needed a lunch, trying to get Jacob to his new school as he wanted me to drive him on the first day.

That little request speaks volumes to the fact that, although he showed it nowhere else, Jacob was indeed a little nervous about switching schools.

As I watched my eldest son walk away from the van into his new adventure, his new school, his new challenge.... THAT's when I first thought "I shoulda brought my camera" with the requisite headsmack included. I followed the headsmacking with a sigh of regret that things are changing, that we are diverging, that we are growing up. My little family. It smarts a little. I liked being a young family. I liked holding them close. I liked when they looked to me for everything; all the answers, all the help, hugs & kisses, handholding, tear-wiping, understanding....

I'm still there for all of that. And they still ask but they are also looking elsewhere. Trying out what others have to offer. ouch.

But what's the alternative? No growth, no change, no finding their place in the world? I suppose I don't want that either. I know it must come but must it come yet? I don't feel ready. I don't really like it. I miss the babies, the nursing, the little hands, those questions I always knew the answers too. That was my heyday. That was my glory. I don't feel as confident in this new life. This new working woman status. This new taxi-cab mother who goes and comes more than she wants.

I love love love who they are all becoming but I ache for my babies. I miss them terribly.

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heyday |ˈhāˌdā|noun (usu. one's heyday)the period of a person's or thing's greatest success, popularity, or vigor : the paper has lost millions of readers since its heyday in 1964.ORIGIN late 16th cent.(denoting good spirits or passion):

Thesaurus

heydaynounduring his heyday, he was quite the matinee idol prime, peak, height, pinnacle,summit, apex,acme, zenith, climax, high point; day, time, bloom,flowering; prime of life, salad days, halcyon days,glory days.