Adjustments...

In 1 hour and 14 minutes I will be starting my first job outside my home in 14 years. I have answered ChemDry phones and scheduled technicians for Carpet cleaning on and off since about 2 weeks after Carly was born and I even did a home study course and trained in Salt Lake for a couple weeks so I could work at home as a medical transcriptionist for a couple years, which I really loved. It was perfect for me but when Mark bought his own Chemdry Franchise in 1999, he needed me to quit that and help him with the phones. I was much better suited to the transcription but.... I was needed elsewhere. I've been off the Chemdry phones for a couple years now which as been SOO wonderful. I really don't want to go back to that but with the way the country is going financially I am well aware of that possibility looming before me. Right now business continues to be good enough that we're not worried yet but you never know...

I know it wouldn't be nearly as bad if I had to do it again at this point in my life because my children are older now and that was the thing I hated most was feeling as if I was neglecting them because I often WAS neglecting them. I absolutely HATED HATED HATED stopping them in the middle of their telling me a story or an important thought or me reading them a story with "Sorry, I gotta get the phone". I had a hard time being consistent with discipline because I would be interrupted so much and we are still trying to recover from that because Jacob's personality took full advantage of those opportunities and Samantha was a good one to follow his lead but anyhoo... this wasn't intended to be a rampage about my time as Chemdry Secretary. I better list some things I am grateful for during that time to change my focus.

1. I was able to stay home with my kids

2. I could help Mark as he worked so very hard to provide for our family

3. I was able to stay home with my kids

I know this new job will come to a surprise to most of you. It came as a surprise to me too. I wasn't looking for a job. The Assistant principal who taught Carly and Rachel when they were both 6th graders approached me last week asking if I'd be interested in being a Teacher's aide in the afternoon when Mason was in Kindergarten. He goes from 12:38 to 3:30. Samantha and Jacob get out at 2:15. The original position was from 12-3. I would be helping out with a new reading program they are going to implement at our school called "The Star Reading program". I would be an oral Language aide for 3 different teachers for 30 minutes each and then spend an hour with this "Star Reading Program". I felt interested but there were definitely some hurdles. I said well I can't do it unless I can start at 12:30 when Mason starts school. She said "no problem!". But I still had a problem with Jacob and Samantha. I didn't want them home alone so I then asked to see if they could switch to the school's later schedule where they would go from 9:15 to 3:30 instead of their current schedule which is 8:00 to 2:15. That was approved by the principal and at family council on Sunday it was approved by the children although with some serious grumbling by Jacob.

I explained that it really wouldn't be much different. They'd still be getting up & getting ready at their regular time since we still needed to have scripture study and prayers with Carly & Rachel before they left at 7:20 and 7:50 respectively. Instead of doing their homework after school they would do it before school so they'd still have the same amount of time after school to play.

(The kids that get out early are called "early birds" and the kids that get out later are called "later 'gators". )

Samantha's response: (say it really fast with an air of excitement and wonder) I wonder what it would be like to be a later gator, I never have been a later gator before. I think that would be fun to be a later gator, sure mom! I'll be a later gator cuz I think I would like to see what it's like!

Jacob: (say this with a groan of defeat) okay mom, I guuueees. I don't really want to be a later gator though.

He doesn't have a real concrete reason other than he just doesn't wanna. He's being a really good sport about it though because he knows I want to do this and it's the only way. I appreciate that although he isn't excited, he is not making an issue of it.

Why am I doing this you ask.. instead of reveling in my time alone.. .home without the kids.....

Maybe that's why. I'm not reveling in that time. I only had 90 minutes of alone time, not enough to really DO something but I'm just a little lost. I have been feeling strangely unfocused for the last year or so and think it has a lot to do with my kids getting older. I know I could get my house cleaner, plan my meals better, finish up those scrapbooks... but I'm not. I have no desire to and so I think I need something new to help me get myself back in focus.

We'll see. I'll let you know.

Today was the first day for Samantha & Jacob to be Later Gators. At first it was a little chaotic but we hammered out some details of what was NOT going to be happening and what WAS going to be happening from 7:50-9:00 when they leave. They did their homework. Jacob vacuumed the family room for me and Samantha straightened up the bathrooms. I stayed busy that hour as well, straightening up the house when my routine has been to flop down in front of the computer to "relax". My first impression was that it was already focusing me on getting some necessary things done. I was much more productive than usual.

Of course I'm a little scared that:

1. I'll hate it.

2. I will feel more stressed

3. I wont' be good at it

4. My family will be neglected.

5. I'll hate the commitment of every day

But then I remember how excited I am to try something new. That it's only 12 1/2 hours a week. That nobody will be home while I'm gone. That I will get to learn new things.

OH man! it's now only 22 minutes til I start my new job! Better go! Wish me luck!