Enchanting Ella and the magic purse....

So Last Monday Carly & Rachel had their first paying music gig.  

Lili, A lady in my ward, (church congregation) sent an email around the neighborhood saying that An Assisted Living center where she volunteers was looking for someone on Monday to do some form of musical entertainment for 45 mintues and would pay $20 for their time.  

I asked Carly and Rachel if they were interested since they didnt' have school that day and they said sure!  I figured it would be a good opportunity to practice their music and being in front of people and the audience would be easy on them.

We called and made the arrangements and that was that.  

We got there at 11:00.  I wasn't sure if I would stay or not, that depended on the youngest 3's behavior.  I wanted to, and happily everyone behaved so I could.  

They had a little area with a microphone and a baby grand piano and some sound equipment on a platform by the dining area.  About 15 seniors congregated while the girls set up.  Carly was planning to play the piano and do a little singing and Rachel planned to play her guitar and sing.  

I was horrified when we got out of the car to see Rachel had on a pair of jeans with a big hole in the knee.  I told her that the people she would be entertaining would see that as sloppy.  I wished I hadn't said anything as I watched her face fall.  I hadn't really talked to them about what they should wear and it just made her upset.  Sometimes I really need to think longer about what I'm going to say.....  "is this going to accomplish anything or just make someone feel bad?"  

There was a little confusion as to the type of music my girls would be performing.  Lili, the friend who we heard about this through is Polynesian and when she performs she does Polynesian music so as Carly and Rachel, who were obviously NOT Polynesian, began to set up we heard lots of loud "Where are the Polynesians?" comments.  

Carly and Rachel took the mike and shared their names and ages and the type of music they would be playing.  Carly would play a song on the piano and then Rachel would play one or two songs and then back to Carly.  They were good at setting up their songs and giving some background on why they chose it, etc.  

The audience seemed appreciative overall.  One cute little lady sat next to me and talked to me a little about Rachel's holey jeans, of course!  She wasn't obnoxious at all, more trying to commiserate.  She just commented on how it looked so sloppy but she knows how kids are these days.  I agreed with her so I wasn't offended.  I did not feel it prudent to tell her, however, that when I was 17 I paid $20 for a pair of jeans with holes all over them and wore them proudly.......   Darn Teenagers.......

Our favorite groupee was Ella.  She was so anxious to clap that sometimes she clapped before a song was finished.  She would enthusiastically clap after every song and exclaim "we love you kids! Thanks for coming!" or "I love that song! It was beautiful."  Sometimes she would sing along with the hymns Carly would play on the piano.  

After the show was over Samantha went over and hugged her.  She told Ella that she liked her white plastic bead necklace. Ella immediately took them off her neck and placed them on Samantha's neck.  "I want you to have them honey.  You're a beautiful baby."  Samantha hugged her again.  Then to my horror Mason said "what do you have for me?"   ARGHHHH!!!! 

She started rummaging in her little black purse and I tried to stop her saying "he doesn't need anything"  and giving Mason the "stinkeye" for asking.  She found an orange and an apple that she gave him and then to Mason's delight a hershey bar was lurking around in the bottom of that purse. She also pulled out a pretty mangy looking banana and some an almost full pack of Juicy Fruit gum.  AND... it wasn't a big purse.  It was fairly incredible she had all that stuff in there.  I kept telling her no, they were fine but she wanted to give them so much and who am I to take away her "giving joy" so I finally consented and we left the old Folk's home with $20, an apple, an orange, A hershey bar, A pack of juicy Fruit gum and a strand of white plastic beads.  It was quite the haul.  

When I meet sweet little old ladies like Ella; so happy, so quick to love and give and complement, I like to wonder about who they have been before....As a girl, a young woman, a mother, a friend.  She told us she had 12 sons, no daughters.  She complemented the girls over and over and told us she used to sing with her family as a girl in St. George but after her husband was killed in the war she ran away from St. George to Utah county because there was a doctor there that was pursuing her and she didn't want to marry him.  She laughed and hugged and was so delightful.  I imagine she must have been a kind mother and a good friend.  How could she not be, with that much love bubbling up inside her to share with us, a group of strangers who she'd only known a few minutes.  

Of course for every enchanting Ella there must be a wicked stepsister to throw a wrench in happy stories.  When the girls finished their set a stern looking woman rolled over to me in her wheelchair. I guess it was obvious I was their mother and she had "Something to say".  Her lips were a hard line, her eyebrows slanted in a "V".  Not a happy person, I think.  She didn't introduce herself or say anything to break the ice.  She said grumpily, "if they ever come here again tell them to do some sing along stuff, the people really like that and then maybe they wouldn't fall asleep!"  She started to wheel away and then turned and looked back and threw over her shoulder "they were good though".  

yeah... whatever.  I like to think as a mother I can be objective about my kids and their faults and their gifts.  My girls had a couple of flubs in their set but overall did a great job and they DID do one singalong song with Rachel singing the main part and Carly doing the echo and trying to get the Seniors to join her.  I was watching. Nobody was falling asleep.  They were singing, watching and engaged.  I was a little annoyed with her "constructive criticism" and was just glad she said it to me and not to them.  I wonder what she was like in her younger years.....

I'm going to try to forget Ms. Grumpypants however, and choose to  remember Enchanting Ella and hope that someday when I am in her shoes and white plastic beads with my black purse full of carefully saved chocolate & fruit... I'll want to give it all away too with hugs and love and complements to strangers who sing for me.

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Okay so I posted this last night and went to bed.  Then I came back downstairs and unposted it because I got to thinking about Ms. Grumpypants and had the feeling I had been ungracious towards her in my narrative because I was, in fact, irritated with her.  

We had a Sunday School lesson on Humility vs. Pride.  I missed the 1st half running Carly home to get cough drops and getting my Relief Society notebooks updated (I'm the secretary).  I'm so glad I didn't miss the whole thing.  It was a really good lesson and our teacher pointed out some ways of being prideful that weren't as obvious and really made me think about the ways I am prideful that keep me from having the Holy spirit more closely in attendance in my life.  

The more I thought about Ms. Grumpypants, the more I began to identify with her rather than Enchanting Ella.  Remember my "holey pants" comment to Rachel?  And after church  when Carly was helping me with dinner I was a little critical of her broccoli trimming style".  I definitely wasn't all about making people feel good in those moments.  What would Ella have said?  

I thought a little more about Ms. Grumpypants parting comment.  She was trying to make up for being a little gruff I think.  I thought more about what she might have been like as a younger woman and came up with this:

 She was probably a "Get er Done" kind of gal.  When she saw a problem she tackled it and tried to "help" when she saw others doing things in a way that didn't make sense to her.  Sometimes she wasn't long on tact or empathy but she was one of those people you wanted to have around because she got things done and didn't sit around waiting for someone to do it for her.  I'm sure she was not nearly the hateful, mean person I first imagined her to be.  

I'm going to try harder to give people the benefit of the doubt.  Look for something good in them because, well... that's what Ella would do.