extra kindness

We had another rough night in the ER with kidney stones. I've stopped blogging about the kidney stones because they are becoming so commonplace. Going to the ER is not so novel anymore, it's run of the mill. Mark's had 7 or 8 episodes since that first one on Mother's day this year. It's sad that I'm not even sure. I've lost count. 7 or 8.... maybe it's 6. Maybe it's 9. Who knows.

And the only reason I mention it now is because it's directly related to what I really want to talk about, and that is kindness. Extra kindness. That kindness that comes when you go asking for help, for kindness, from people you know will help and then they go a step further and offer more. Humbling you, making you cry and feel especially loved and watched over. A reminder that angels are not only in heaven.

Extra Kindness #1

The pain started as we were doing some grocery shopping in Smiths around 5:30pm yesterday. Mark complained his back was starting to hurt. At 6:30 when I was coming home from going back to Smiths to get the bag of groceries the bagger forgot to put in our cart, Carly called me saying Mark was in bad shape and when would I be home. We found ourselves in the ER shortly thereafter. It happened so fast. He was in so much pain, worse than ever before. Through his pain, responsible man that he is, he remembered about a meeting he had in the morning with a member of the stake presidency. He asked me to call him and indicate he would not be able to make it. I did. This brother asked if there was anything he could do. I said no, thanked him for his concern. I hung up. A few minutes later found me calling him back saying yes, there was something he could do and asked if he'd be willing to find another priesthood holder and come to the hospital to give Mark a blessing. Of course he was willing. Of course he came.

At this point Mark had been in severe pain for 3 hours with no relief. We'd been to the instacare hoping for a cheaper avenue to resolve the pain. This had been a waste of time and money because they couldn't do much for him. We spent an hour there and he got 2 pain shots which didn't do a thing for him. We left $100 worth of Christmas presents in their cash register and went on to the ER where he'd now had 2 doses of pain medication through an IV and it still wasn't even taking the edge off his pain. I was feeling so anxious about so many things. The money, the pain, the fears that there's something more sinister going on than a kidney stone, that he's going to die and leave me alone. I know, not very rational thoughts but still they came.

The man that I called found another good man, a good friend of Mark's who he knew Mark would feel comfortable with in his vulnerable position and they came and put their hands upon his head, anointed him with oil and gave him a priesthood blessing. A kindness that I had requested, that I very much appreciated. Then when the blessing was over and Mark was thanking them, he remembered some church business, something that he was responsible for and started discussing it with these brothers, wanting to make sure it was taken care of the next day and not forgotten. My hand flew to my face to stifle a laugh that in this state of horrible pain he would think of and worry about those he was responsible for. I don't know why it struck me as funny, just one of those little moments where I let the worry slip away and thought about all the reasons I love this man. And because I allowed that small release of emotion, I felt my tenuous hold over my tears slipping and tried to keep that in check because Mark needed me to be strong. I thought this slip was my own private moment. It happened quickly and I was able to get a hold of myself fairly quickly but as I moved my hand from my face I saw our friend looking at me with concern and he asked "would you like a blessing?". I felt a little silly, as I was not the one in pain, saying yes but I knew that I needed a blessing of peace and comfort. I needed some help. It was beautiful and strengthening and exactly what I needed to continue on. We were there for 3 more hours and back again this morning for an hour and through those long hours, over and over the words of the blessing would come back to comfort and strengthen me when I was feeling overwhelmed. It helped to replace my fear with Faith and I am grateful for the gift we have from our Heavenly Father of the priesthood power on the earth to heal and sustain and bring peace. And I'm grateful for the extra kindness of our friend to notice me and ask if I needed a blessing.

Extra kindness #2

I called my friend to say that I wouldn't be in church today but my kids would and would she mind sitting near them so if the little ones gave Carly any grief she could help keep them in line. My kids know her very well and we used to trade baby-sitting before we each had baby-sitting age daughters so they are used to minding her. This is the kindness I asked for and she agreed.

She then asked about after church, did I need her to take the kids then. Mark was still in a lot of pain and needing me close so I accepted this extra kindness. I answered that my older girls had choir practice and if she really didn't mind, it would help if the little kids stayed at her house til they were done and Carly and Rachel could walk them home and be able to help me with them. I called about the time I thought the girls should be done with choir practice and my friend answered, saying they were just sitting down to dinner and she'd feed them and then they could come home. Another extra kindness. With most of Mark's episodes I'm a little tired but mostly fine the next day but this one has been particularly stressful and I have had a terrible headache and just not felt myself today so not having to worry about the noise and dinner has been so helpful. Extra kindness. Extra love.

I have much to be Thankful for.